国外也可以有段子手

作者: 时时彩平台官网  发布:2020-01-21

时时彩十大信誉的平台 1

旺财体育讯:小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的欧洲足坛精彩看点层出不穷,欧冠赛场,热刺战平巴萨成功出线,国米惨遭淘汰,利物浦赢下和那不勒斯的出线之战,而曼联、尤文、皇马、拜仁等球队则纷纷失分。联赛赛场,利物浦笑傲双红会,阿森纳不败势头遭终结,而曼城、切尔西、巴萨、皇马等球队则纷纷获胜。同时,欧冠1/8决赛抽签也已尘埃落定,利物浦相遇拜仁,而曼联则和巴黎狭路相逢。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!尘埃落定,欧冠抽签揭晓!A_时时彩十大信誉的平台,Kind_Shark(西班牙球迷):马竞和尤文的比赛,怕是能治好我的失眠症了…(Atleti vs Juve is gonna cure my insomnia.)feb914(未知主队球迷):里昂怎么没抽到皇马,这不是传统的剧本嘛?(I cant believe that Lyon is not drawn with Real Madrid, its tradition!)Stuelg(阿森纳球迷):现在看16强抽签感觉轻松多了~(Finelly the 16 draw seems easy to me.)BroOfDumbo(利物浦球迷):你好拜仁,我是枪手的朋友尸首,请对我们温柔一点…(Hey Bayern I’m gunner’s friend goner, be gentle pls…)沙奇里双响,利物浦3-1曼联继续领跑Buffed(利物浦球迷):利物浦,你嘛时候是英超第一啊?就在今天!(so you can say we are the champion today.)Hieillua(巴勒斯坦球迷):这怎么看起来就像利物浦在踢一支手忙脚乱的中游球队一样?(It was like watching Liverpool vs. a struggling midtable team.)ProSnuggles(未知主队球迷):不然呢,你以为在看什么啊?(I thought thats what we were watching?)spoofex(曼联球迷):也不知道利物浦球迷有啥可高兴的,不就是领头羊赢了一支中游球队吗?(Not sure what Liverpool fans are so excited about all a top team did was beat a mid table side.)Drei-im-Weggla(未知主队球迷):渣叔下了一步大棋啊,沙奇里这个头,费莱尼根本就肘击不到了!(5D chess from Klopp to sub in a player too small for Fellaini to elbow.)Kylael(切尔西球迷):沙奇里进球的一瞬间,克莱因的表情在为进球而庆祝还是为沙奇里抢射而懊恼之间纠结了好久…(Clyne looked to have a hard time choosing between happy for the goal or pissed for Shaq stealing his chance.)evian_is_naive(利物浦球迷):我觉得克莱因只是在纳闷球怎么就忽然进去了…(I think he was just wondering how the hell that went in.)AnonymousSixSixSix(朴茨茅斯球迷):天呐,利物浦怎么开始进曼联风格的球了?(Damn even Liverpool are scoring United style goals.)RedditThisBiatch(曼联球迷):我们其实就是一支有钱的斯托克城罢了…(We are nothing but a Stoke with more money.)LordVelaryon(多特球迷):法比尼奥堪称光头皮尔洛!他一定是学习费莱尼的精彩集锦了!(Fabinho is just a bald Pirlo, must have been watching Fellaini highlights.)ThanLo(未知主队球迷):费莱尼也不过是长了头发的本泽马而已…(Fellaini is just a hairy Benzema.)fan-tung(未知主队球迷):马蒂奇不错啊,这场比赛竟有如此美妙的看球视野!(Matic has got a fantastic seat to watch this game from.)twigg89(切尔西球迷):我有点相信卢卡库踢前锋都不如范戴克了…(I genuinely think Van Dijk is a better striker than Lukaku.)Hazardzuzu(切尔西球迷):今天卢卡库的状态和莫拉塔一样好呀!(lukaku as effective as morata today.)DidierDrogbaII(切尔西球迷):至今我还记得当年夏天,人们在争论莫拉塔和卢卡库谁更牛逼…现在来看,最后的赢家其实是拉卡泽特…(I remember that summer lots of people were arguing who was going to be better... I think Lacazette won that argument in the end.)梅西三射两传,巴萨5-0莱万特hitler_sucked_balls(巴萨球迷):梅西,别、别再传那性感的弧线了,我...我飞机都要打光了…(Messi, stop passing like sexy curve. I cant masturbate anyone.)Kirkrrr(巴萨球迷):苏牙就是刚刚不吃嘴边之饼,随即却又能射出震惊四座的进球;刚刚还浪费了别人的绝佳妙传,过一会儿却又踢出了小贝的外脚背弧线…(Suarez is the oddest world class player lmao. Misses easy goals, but then scores worldies right afterwards. Misses easy passes, but then bends it like Beckham with the outside of the boot. What a player.)TerribleDrama(皇马球迷):加把劲啊莱万特,你们咋踢得跟皇马一样差啊?(Oh cmon, why cant you be shit like us?)EnergetikNA(切尔西球迷):诶,巴萨,我们拿莫拉塔换皮克怎么样?(ay Barca trade Morata for Pique?)VoxelRiot(葡萄牙球迷):梅西就是矮个子的皮克而已!(Messi is just a short Pique.)Kingnash95(未知主队球迷):皮克进球就像是我玩FIFA的时候,在第90分钟时让门将去踢前锋进个球一样…(Thats like me bringing my keeper at 90th minute and try to score with him in fifa.)22场不败终结,阿森纳2-3南安普顿nanotech23(阿森纳球迷):为什么南安普顿的前锋每次踢我们的时候就都变成德罗巴了?(Why Southampton strikers always turn into Drogba every time against us?)Poliosdd(埃弗顿球迷):恭喜圣徒!你们能不能别再卖人给利物浦了?(Congrats Southampton! Pls dont sell anymore players to Liverpool.)rompskee(阿森纳球迷):以前阿森纳是对上半场过敏,现在是对全场比赛都过敏了…(Arsenal was allergic to the first half before, but now it’s been cured as they were allergic to the whole match.)Shaggythemoshdog(开普敦球迷):22场不败的纪录,竟然被一支至今主场都没获胜过的球队给终结了…(22 Unbeaten streak lost to a team who hasn’t won at home until now. Of course.)阿扎尔佩德罗进球,切尔西2-1布莱顿maverick1905(切尔西球迷):拥有阿扎尔,是我们最接近拥有梅西的事情了…(Hazard is the closest thing we will ever have to Messi playing in Chelsea.)AdenintheGlaven(布莱顿球迷):我再也不想看90分钟阿扎尔吊打我们了!(Not sure I want to spend another 90 minutes watching Hazard dick us.)突围出线,热刺客场1-1巴萨The-Zoro(阿森纳球迷):唉,我们和热刺相遇在欧联杯决赛不挺好的嘛…(A Spurs vs us Europa League final sounds good tbh)RTafazolli1(阿森纳球迷):巴萨需要赶紧买苏牙的接班人了,穆尼尔根本不是那块料!其实我看凯恩倒是挺合适的…(Barcelona need to buy a good backup to Suarez, Munir is nowhere near the level required for Barcelona. Maybe Kane is good choice.)alx69(未知主队球迷):昨天堡垒之夜圈里的人都特别生气,一个ID为OusDembe97的高玩缺席了一把关键的大逃杀,原因竟然是不务正业地踢足球去了!(Fortnite community outraged as star gamer OusDembe97 misses a crucial Battle Royale because he was distracted by playing football yesterday.)Dawnsday(阿森纳球迷):为了能毫无压力地多玩玩FM,登贝莱决定下次上演帽子戏法…(dembele decided hes going to score a hattrick so he can go play football manager with no stress.)MushroomBot(威尔士球迷):我是登贝莱,我不训练,不睡觉,不守规矩,但我知道,我真香!(THIS is Dembele, no training, no sleep, no discipline but when he gets it its done.)Envague(曼联球迷):其实吧,不是登贝莱训练来晚了,而是他参加比赛来早了…(Turns out Dembele didnt show up late to practice, he arrived early for the game.)ModricTHFC(爱尔兰球迷):没想到竟然有这么一天,梅西枯坐替补席1个多小时来看西索科踢球…(The day Messi sat at Camp Nou and watched Sissoko for an hour.)wrdb2007(皇马球迷):真希望梅西能多学学西索科的招式啊!(Hopefully he learnt a thing or two from him.)Neo_corner(热刺球迷):这里还是伦敦城唯一能看到欧冠的地方!不过能看欧联的地方倒是有俩。(The only place to watch the champions league in London! But two places to watch Europe League.)thesilentGinlasagna(巴萨球迷):今天在TNT直播解说这场比赛的,竟然是史蒂芬-纳什?(is Steve Nash commentating in TNT?)小组出局,国际米兰1-1埃因霍温Imoraswut(索菲亚球迷):恭喜斯帕莱蒂喜提心心念的平局,想必一定是很开心吧!(Congrats to Spalletti, he got the draw he played for. Must be ecstatic...)Lcalafiore(未知主队球迷):这比赛踢得好像埃因霍温才是竭力想出线一样…(PSV played that game as if they were the ones fighting for qualification.)Supertanto(罗马球迷):万万没想到,热刺竟然一天内能两次以1-1的比分赢两次球…(Didnt know Spurs could win 1-1 twice in one day.)JaSamNejboi(未知主队球迷):再没有比当热刺球迷更容易得心脏病的了…(Don’t think anything will you give you a higher chance for a heart attack then being a fucking Spurs fan.)MrCoins(热刺球迷):我们能出线,最应该感谢的就是斯帕莱蒂…(The first one we should thanks for qualifying is Spalletti.)Spaghettievd(国米球迷):梅西进入节能模式了,结果我们进入飞行模式了(Messi was in energy saving mode but we were airplane mode…)成功出线,利物浦1-0那不勒斯RobbieWard123(未知主队球迷):看利物浦浪费这么多机会,我都已经准备看那不勒斯最后时候绝平了…(Liverpool are really setting this up for a last minute Napoli goal with all their missed chances.)Callthewambulance(利物浦球迷):这比赛绝对折我阳寿!(This match is going to take time off my life.)Look_into_it_man(利物浦球迷):比赛前洗的澡真是白洗了,现在我裤子都已经湿的不行了…(I went for a shower before the match. Seems pointless now with how much wet my pants are.)WetLikeMyJumperTho(利物浦球迷):为什么你们要黑亨德森的表现?这场比赛根本就看不见他好吧!(People trashing Henderson this match but Hamsik has been missing for the match.)Rage_Your_Dream(埃弗顿球迷):要往好的方面想,起码利物浦这赛季是得不了欧联杯冠军了…(Positive take away: Liverpool cant win the Europa League now)琼斯乌龙,瓦伦西亚2-1曼联Babygrenade(未知主队球迷):曼联这帮球员怎么每次都感觉像第一次组队踢球一样…(United looking like its the first time theyve played together.)RagnarJoshi(未知主队球迷):曼联这赛季有30%的比赛都出现0-2落后的局面了…(Man United have been 2-0 down in 30 percent of their games this season.)OldAccountNotUsable(曼联球迷):我想说,在对方球门面前摆大巴可不是个好主意啊…(Reversing the Bus into your enemy’s box isnt a good idea.)Pmingnudes(未知主队球迷):卢卡库看起来就像是穿着牛仔裤和登山靴在踢球一样…(Lukaku plays like hes wearing jeans and hiking boots.)manun1ted(曼联球迷):彪马是不是该出钱让卢卡库不要再代言自己的球鞋了…(Puma should consider paying Lukaku not to wear their boots.)Debaser-IRK(切尔西球迷):本来我还想笑话两句,结果想起来我们还有莫拉塔…(I would laugh at this but then I realised we have Morata)Maxbiggavels(未知主队球迷):操控曼联游戏手柄的哥们是不是一次安了太多键了,电脑都不知道你要干啥了!(The player controlling Man United is mashing too many buttons at the same time and confusing the A.I.)Noneek(曼联球迷):博格巴是不是在世界杯后就突然忘了怎么踢球了?(Did Pogba just forget how to football after the World Cup?)Regularshitpostar(皇马球迷):好希望皇马在欧冠16强里能抽到曼联啊,这绝对是势均力敌的比赛!(Really want Madrid to draw United in the round of 16; would be quite the even contest.)Bigtice(曼联球迷):虽然瓦伦西亚2-1赢了球,但你不要忘了曼联才是进球更多的一方啊!(Dont let the fact that Valencia won the game 2-1 distract you from the fact that Manchester United scored more goals.)主场爆冷,皇马0-3莫斯科中央陆军SahdBoi(皇马球迷):齐达内先生,我感觉不是很好…(Zidane i dont feel so good........)Fake_Fibonacci(皇马球迷):都赖罗马,让我们有了还能在欧冠横着走的错觉!(I blame Roma for making me believe that we were different in the UCL .)amh137(皇马球迷):这场比赛贝尔看自己脚踝的时间,都比真正投入比赛的时间还多了…(Bale has spent more time looking at his ankle than actually playing football.)TeKaeS(巴黎球迷):老铁们别被皇马骗了,去年他们就是这样,结果到了1月份C罗就就开始场均帽子戏法了!(Guys dont get fouled. Like last year in January, Ronaldo will start scoring 3 goals every game and save Madrid.)Federica21(未知主队球迷):看到皇马一直在破纪录,真的好羡慕呀!(Im a little jealous Real Madrid are breaking all these records.)Volitient(西班牙球迷):索拉里堪称纪录粉碎机,但他还得继续努力才能达到洛佩特吉的水准!(Solari the record breaker, what a legend. He has to live up to Lopeteguis standards hahaha.)tha-bad-guy(皇马球迷):我们最近打破的尴尬纪录总是能追溯到2009年,为什么呢,因为那一年以后就有C罗了…(All the records we are breaking this year always come back to 2009. Its like Ronaldo never happened.)WWECreativegenius(皇马球迷):我们在欧冠也只输给了莫斯科中央陆军而已!但是不用担心,接下来在欧冠肯定不会遇见他们了!(So we only lose in CL against CSKA. Problem solved because after today we wont play them again this campaign.)萨内梅开,曼城2-1霍芬海姆Codespyder(曼城球迷):萨内:“我该怎么才能踢好任意球啊!”瓜瓜:“你就把球当成是勒夫的脑袋就行!”(Leroy: How do I become good at free kicks? Pep: Picture the ball as Jogi Löws head.)Mr_Lich12(曼城球迷):照这趋势,很快我们全队就都是伤员了…(By this rate we gonna end up with entire Injury team.)Nickoboosh(利物浦球迷):咱俩别争联赛冠军了,还是先争争伤病吧…(Forget the title race, injury race is where its at.)输球仍头名出现,尤文1-2伯尔尼年轻人BrutalHumbug13(纽卡斯尔球迷):老妇人紧逼不如前,被年轻人轻松洞穿!(Young Boys penetrate Old Lady as she lost tight defenses.)Lerkot(未知主队球迷):年轻人把老妇人摁着摩擦,最后双方还都挺开心,这绝对是真爱啊!(Young Boys fucking the old lady and everyone happy in the end. True love.)Coko1911(尤文球迷):皇马:“我们的B队被人吊着打了…”尤文:“干杯老铁!我们的…A 队被人吊着打了…”(Real: Our B team is disgrace Juve: Hold my bear ... gets embarrassed with A team.)Oatzeel(阿森纳球迷):要不是琼斯的乌龙,曼联甚至还能得个小组头名…(Man u could have finished top of their group if it werent for Phil Jones deft finish.)跌宕起伏,拜仁3-3阿贾克斯DutchPhenom(荷兰球迷):好吧,我决定洗一个小时的冷水澡来浇灭这燥热的心情…(Alright, Im going to take an hour-long cold shower in the hope I can get to a normal temperature.)Rooonaldooo99(未知主队球迷):我就眨了一下眼,结果竟然错过了3个球?(I blinked and missed 3 goals.)Iftair(贝蒂斯球迷):3个小时后我就期末考试了,可我选择看了这场比赛,绝对不后悔!(I have a final exam in 3 hrs and I watched this game. No regrets.)Iftair(贝蒂斯球迷):啊,现在我有点后悔了…(Well…now I regret a little bit.)斯特林热苏斯进球,曼城3-1埃弗顿SupervisorLaw(曼城球迷):有趣的是,今天所有的利物浦球迷都盼着埃弗顿赢球,而曼城球迷却都希望曼联能赢球…(Funnily today all of Liverpool fans hope Everton wins and tommorow all of City fans hope United wins.)Goooooringer(阿森纳球迷):两队这是轮流看着自己的后防线玩火么…(Both teams taking turns watching their defense vanish.)本泽马进球,皇马1-0巴列卡诺VEgeta18(皇马球迷):本泽马进球了?我还以为他和C罗一起去尤文了呢!(Benzema scored? I thought he had been to juve with Ronaldo.)Krishna(未知主队球迷):说实话,本泽马已经是我们这赛季踢得最好的球员了…(Tbh Benzema has been Madrids best player this season.)好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们下期不见不散!

本文由时时彩十大信誉的平台发布于时时彩平台官网,转载请注明出处:国外也可以有段子手

关键词:

上一篇:全套起立
下一篇:没有了